The Guilt

I’ve been awake for nearly 2 days now. Idk i just cant sleep. There’s a lot going on in my mind. Im having my mental breakdown almost everyday since 4 days ago. Idk


Recently i got into a fight with my housemate. Its all my fault. My fault for being so damn broken inside, so irritable that i snap at her that night. Its my fault. Its my fault that i cant even control my emotion anymore. Idk. I'm just too tired from my mental breakdown plus the stress with exam and all, i just cant believed i did that to her. I yelled at her. She must've been so heartbroken with my words. So heartbroken that she cant even forgive me. I dont blame her. Its my fault afterall. I understand. Its all my fault.

But this intense guilt in my chest, idk... it hurts so much. Seeing her everyday at home tortured me even more. To think that im able to hurt someone like that, scares me. And so i distanced myself from her. I didnt even make any effort to talk to her. Im scared the same thing will happen again. Im sorry. Im sorry. Im really really sorry. I just cant take it anymore. And just like that, i lost one friend. Its all because of me. Why am I like this?