Assalamualaikum w.b.t
The very end of 2018. The 31th of December.
*take a deep breath*
*exhale*
Today marks almost 2 months free of any attacks. My mind's all good. I'm quite happy. Didnt overthink anything. Slept a lot. Like a lot................ lot. Haha its been a good year for me. 2018. A healing year.
Looking back, the biggest turn over for me in this year was meeting Aliff. I never thought of being in love before but Allah bless me with Aliff. To teach me everything. To always look on the bright side when anything happens to you, to always be positive in everything, to love, to forgive, acceptance and self love. We did faught many times though, until that one time i decided to leave him. Then, being a patient man Aliff is, he told me to look around and see and when i find all my answers then come back to him. I was stunned by that last message. Then, the next few days i spend my time praying, asked Allah to guide me in every decision i made, look around me, searching for my anwers. And Alhamdulillah, i think i found it. My answers.
Now,
Forgiveness is a strong word. And i think its one of a hard thing to do. Even me myself didnt forgive someone in my past...yet. Its really hard. Because you've been hurt. And i hurt Aliff, with my attitude, with my words. I left him. Even when i promised i wont. And when i told him i found my answers, he said "Welcome back :)" . Forgiveness and Acceptance. Not everyone can do that.
And so for this new year, I pray that Allah grant me a heart that can forgive everyone and accept them in my life again. To a positive, happy, sad-free, depress attack-free, full of blessing year ahead Insya Allah. Happy New Year everyone!! :)